Essences in life

So, the reason why I think I have some gold nuggets to share with you is that I have a pretty difficult background story – and I’m still here, in many ways doing better than ever.

Over the past 10 years or so, I have suffered through what I call The Tough D’s: Depression, Divorce, the Death of my youngest child, Debt, Diabetes, and an eating Disorder. And lately, anxiety, just to spice things up further.

I say this lightly, but trust me, none of the above was easy. However, there’s a truth to that tired phrase “what doesn’t kill you…”, you know what I mean, and I have found out not only that there’s a will in me to survive, there’s also a burning desire to help others.

My intention with this blog is to shine a light in your darkness. I will fire up my lighthouses and let them guide you through the fog and the starless nights until you see your own lighthouses. This is what I intend to do.

For this purpose, I have long been thinking about the notion of “getting to the essence of things.” I have struggled with low self-esteem for as long as I can remember, but if there is one thing I know that I’m good at, then it’s deriving the essence even from pretty heavy stuff. And I’ve been playing a little game of letters with myself, giving a name to this ability to see clearly: the S-sense. As in: “Sigrid’s way of making sense/deriving the essence”.

For every post I make from now on, I will give you the S-sense on a topic of my choosing. Or yours, if you’d like my opinion on a thought that you have. This is a challenge I give myself as well as an encouragement for you to participate.


Today’s S-sense:

What I would like to put in here today is the one thing that I believe enables me to take one blow after another and almost go “thank you”: my firm belief that everything happens for a reason. 

Why I had to go through 11 years of marriage to a manipulative and emotionally abusive man was to let me be able to reach out to others who have been through something similar, for example. How can I speak on behalf of women (or men) who have been belittled and threatened and bullied around to the point of believing they deserved it, without having tried that for myself?

Another example is the concept of anxiety, which is still pretty new to me. To be quite honest, I have never understood or even accepted how people can suffer from anxiety until I tried it myself, and I feel ashamed for the condescending thoughts I have had…! But the truth is, no one can really know what it feels like unless they’ve been there. Like with so many things, really.

So, my very brief S-sense for today is: everything happens for a reason.

It will definitely not be the last time I talk about that…


So you want to start a blog??

Yes, this is when I start my blog!

Like so many of you, I’ve been dreaming about it for months (even years, to be quite honest), thinking it over a gazillion times, mentally writing and re-writing posts but guess what: it doesn’t work! I’ve got to make it real, and having spent time studying and learning from blogger Sarah Titus I’ve finally reached the point where I’ve realized that the perfect day for starting will never come – I’ve just got to get started! As do you, and I guarantee you that you couldn’t possibly be more freaked out excited at the thought of jumping in than I am. So if you think that your freaked-out-ness might match mine, why don’t you join me on my journey towards BIG TIME BLOGGING SUCCESS?

I plan to divide this into two basic parts: 1) the Lighthouses part, which is up close and personal stuff, and 2) the whole development of a blog from scratch.


The whole idea of tending to your lighthouses sprang from an emotional moment with one of my very best friends who was struggling immensely at work. She told me how her husband, who also happens to be a good friend of mine, had tried to calm her by picking a phrase out of thin air: “Honey, don’t let it get to you. If you stick to tending to your lighthouses and focus on what means something in your life, you will succeed in the end”.

I actually think this meant less to Karina than it did to me, although she did appreciate her husband’s point. To me, however, it felt like an epiphany! A guiding lighthouse in and of itself; this thought of putting my time and energy into the things that truly shine through the fog and the darkness that sometimes surround me (and you too, I’m sure), it made sense to me on such a profound level that I just knew I had to work on that some more. Thus, this blog!


I am literally doing this from scratch as I have NO money to start a blog “the right way”.

Being a single mom on welfare with over 50K in debt; constantly behind on bills; worrying every month about how to avoid the next eviction notice; having sleepless nights over such seemingly insignificant things as birthday presents or class outings for my daughters etc. etc – some of you probably know these problems all too well – paying for things like hosting and themes is totally out of the question for now. That’s something I will have to save for but I won’t let it prevent me from getting my thoughts out there; from reaching out to those who also need a shining light in their darkness.

So, for today, I’ve started my blog on the free version of WordPress. My first goal hereafter is to subscribe to Bluehost as recommended by Sarah Titus. More on that when I manage to put aside the money (at least $100 = food for a week) for that.